Back At It

An email from Dr. A asking me to write another piece for yet another book has me in a frenzy. Looking back at old journals, reading old thoughts....cherishing them. Maybe they weren't the most pleasant of thoughts, and they certainly document the lowest points of my life, but I realize now that they're all I have. For some reason my memory fails me, and my journaling is the only thing that sparks my brain to recollect my past. So it's for that reason that I start this back up again. I want to be able to remember the small details of my days - I don't ever want to lose the memories.

We had an insanely gorgeous summer day today, and I'm sad that I didn't take advantage of it more. Wes and I took an early afternoon nap together, and by the time I woke up it was time to get ready and head over to Tom's parents house. Grandma Pat flew in today, so we had dinner over there with her. Aiden was an extremely happy little boy when I got there. He was "galloping" around the house and yelling "HEE-HAW!", with an occasional one of his giggles that I adore. He played outside in the sandbox while Grandma Pat snuggled Wes, and then we took a golf cart ride around the farm. Wes's first ride, and he fell asleep (of course).

After everybody had eaten dinner was probably the most special part of the night. I was holding a sleeping Wes, Aiden and Tom were playing outside with Bailey, and pretty soon Chester and Signe, and Marty and Riley all joined us. I felt like I was in a dream world while I watched Aiden play, Bailey catch her ball, and Tom's family laugh and joke. It was one of those moments that I just wanted to freeze - I couldn't get enough of it. Everything was okay in that moment, and it felt nice to just enjoy life. Tom was exhausted from a long work day, so at 9 o'clock we decided to finally call it a night.

I had been struggling with myself and my thoughts for the majority of the day, so I'm extremely thankful for such a wonderful night. Watching Aiden run around in the grass with his bare feet, not a care in the world - those are the moments that I live for.